and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
