I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
