Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
