btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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