every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
