Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
