My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
