I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
