...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
