I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
