If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
