it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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