Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish i was in the wii world.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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