First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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