Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
