College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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