Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
