bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
