i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
