What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm like, not good at living.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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