My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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