i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it hurts more in the daytime
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
