Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
