better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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