we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
