It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
