Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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