ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
