If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
