Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Randomize
