I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
