Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
