if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
