We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
