Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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