I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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