Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
