No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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