Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
