her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He shit in the fireplace
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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