It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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