A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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