I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
