Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
