ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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