is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
