Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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