I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
