yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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