its not stalking. its research.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
ttyl tear gas
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
