you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
