An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
