good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
