He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
